my husband is so nice to everyone but me

Does it feel like your husband compliments everyone else and not you? He was a more empathetic earlier on. Perhaps youre asking yourself questions like: Why is my husband mean to me and nice to everyone else? Both of you were fond of each other, until a few years later all of a sudden, he changed to the opposite of who he used to be. It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along. But by the end of our lunch (where he was our server), hed asked me for my number. His friends and family take advantage of that. Find a solution that works best for you and your kids (if you have any). I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life. Whether it's an addiction, an affair, or poor performance in your life, many times, husbands point to their wives as the reason for their weakness. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. He wants to show his dominance. It is he that is misbehaving. This could probably be the reason why your husband is always so vexatious towards you for one reason or the other. And if there is so much resentment, then they no longer have a reason to share their charming side to you. They insist on things being done in their own way and make all of the most important decisions. His charm was lost for me very quickly, but one thing kept bugging me: he was so kind to people who weren't me - so nice and charming and awesome. Probably a therapists needs to be involved so that you can have an objective third party mediator. You start thinking back to the what transpired and replay it in your mind. A mans behavior is somewhat hinged on his upbringing, his experiences, and the things he learned in his formative years make up his personality. So when theyre angry with youthey literally cannot love you. No need to panic. Asking my husband to be nicer to me must've been some pathetic attempt to plaster over a much bigger crack than I could bear to see at that moment. You're Always the Problem (i.e. He stops while we're together to very loudly . My Husband Is Mean To Me And Nice To Everyone Else: My Husband Is So Nice To Everyone But Me. Sensitive. Your email address will not be published. Here are 6 signs I missed while he was cheating: 1. According to his beliefs, he is free to yell at you or scold you publicly if you misbehave. He ridicules and discredits her perspective so that he can escape dealing with it. Mr. According to his beliefs, he is free to yell at you or scold you publicly if you misbehave. "I am not feeling well" does not just mean the food I ate is making me feel like throwing up; it also means my entire existence makes me sick to the point of death. It may feel like the end of the world, but trust me; it is the best thing to do. So, this explains another reason that narcissists are so cruel to you and so kind to everyone else: because they are or could be in the idealization phase with anyone they dont know very well. 6. We can help loved ones recognize and prevent these shifts before they damage our relationship. Hell you might be doing your husband and his future wife a favor by divorcing his ass specifically because he is a jerk. Being able to show not only my passion for writing, but also my passion to help others in their relationships, means the absolute world to me and I hope to continue doing so. We have been there and we can help you heal. So how do you deal with a narcissist who is cruel to you and kind to others? He extends it to the outsiders. Generally speaking, men like talking to people they feel can understand them better. I also enjoin you to share this. Unsubscribe at any time. by Carolyn Steber. He thought I was just imagining it all. Resist the pull of hyperbole. Every person that works with her mentions how friendly/polite/helpful she is, and how luck I am to be married to a nurse that can take car. Some men may seem so strong on the outside but deep down they are really weak. 02/05/2016 16:50. Lastly, if you're worried about how you'll cope financially if/when you leave, it might be helpful to visit your local CAB or call the helpline to find out what benefits and other support you'll be entitled to. Try to be a supportive wife and stand by him through this trying time, while figuring out other medical and psychological means of help. What this means is that he is not a narcissist, rather he is just dealing with bouts of anger stored up within him. she is so nice to my sister, my husband, everyone but me. Pay attention to his needs and wants so that he doesnt feel left out. This, in healthier relationships, will Since youre already in the position of being a narcissistic supply, the narcissist feels comfortable with you. The idea is to see the line. Thats a story for another day. But he has to change and if he doesn't. you need to end this. I'm not exactly going around acting like a therapist to my friends and colleagues, but I am a good listener. So that you know, just because your husband acts like he is annoyed by you all of the time and you find yourself walking on egg shells, it does not necessarily mean you are the one at fault. Start slow though. I know this sounds harsh, but it is one of the likely reasons men treat their women poorly. Some religions and cultures do not think very highly of women; in fact, they believe women should be relegated to the background and should not be seen or heard. Taylor describes abusers as a sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde character. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. At one moment, Amy begins to cry, saying that she is lonely and has lost the John she loved. Whether this religion or way of thinking is new or has been practiced all his life, if he cant see reason, and starts treating you like a lover, friend, and confidant, then maybe its time to hit the road. Both begin to appear once a couple becomes distressed: 1. Of course there's never any credit for me,ever. I am feeling so low atm my husbands aggression towards me is getting worse and Im finding it very difficult to cope. His family's rude behavior towards me And I get dismissive responses like "you're too sensitive", "why do you let these things affect you so much". 9. There are so many other factors to consider which brings me to number two. It may be your husband has blown a gasket and is leaking all kinds of pent-up emotions. .. Shameless Book Plug: Order My New Book "This is How Your Marriage Ends" Today. Your friends always conveniently forget to invite you to things or seem to be hanging out when you're not around. What is NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming)? The tool will return a plethora of information including his recent online behavior, such as any dating sites he might have registered to and social media he has used. I didnt even know who I was. Why Are Narcissists Cruel To You And Kind To Everyone Else? We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? Pay attention to the intent of his claims of abuses he suffered in the hands of his ex-partner. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Husband Compliments Everyone But Me! You need to be very careful in making your assessment. Below, divorce attorneys and marriage therapists share the most damaging things you can say in a marriage and what you should say to your spouse instead. But why is it so easy for them? We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship. He Finds It Difficult to Express His Feelings Towards You, 8. How did you deal with it? His friends could be the instigating factor behind his meanness towards you. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. If you continue your relationship with the narcissist: Seek therapy or outside support. Its something that took me a lot of time to get better and better at as well. Just enter his name and location into the background checker to rule it out. Its also possible you caught a whiff of this attitude, but chose to ignore it because people change. 2. others to give them a grandiose sense of self-worth. Maybe you're very clear that your hatred stems from how your partner never picks up after his or herself or never follows through on things . Related Here is what to do if your husband never tells you how beautiful you are. My wife of 12 years is a Registered nurse. Your husband might be the Mr. But he has no sympathy when I try to talk about it and just gets mad and shuts down. Don't spell it out like that initially, but this is how you should be thinking about it. Completely different story. Building a successful marriage requires plenty of effort and hard work. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. The truth is: a relationship is not meant to be dominated by one partner alone; you both are supposed to respect each others idea and to not take suggestions or complaints of each other with the perfunctory and prejudicial mind. Your Partner Gaslights You. Some mood episodes can cause behavior that is out of character and difficult to tolerate. Can your husband change on this topic after enough time, discussion and effort has been exerted? (5 Possible Reasons), 2. He may be expressing this hurt by being mean to you instead of communicating his feeling. In this category, the husband reveals a whole lot of his fears, insecurity all the time to you. Long story short, I regretted it. 17. He may not feel this way towards your children or people in general, maybe its time you start weighing your options and start seeing this as a marriage problem. It might not necessarily mean hes going to act on it or that hes cheating, but it is something you need to talk to him about. First off, work towards increasing the grip you have over him, and try to limit the time he spends with those friends in question. But for me, he was cruel and plain-old mean. Narcissistscan be incredibly, painfully rude, mean anddownright abusive in the way that they speak to you. Sometimes when things get out of hand, your husband can say things that wounds your soul, even shake you at the core. The world seems to have turned upside down. This kind of marriage is not sustainable in the long-run and may eventually collapse. So, when they are mean and cruel to you, rather than acknowledging and admitting it and doing what they can to make up for it, narcissists will ignore you or worse, get even crueler and start to say things like, Why cant you ever be happy? and Oh, look, here comes the dark cloud. And speaking of the inability to create healthy attachments. Remember that the narcissist is extremely egotistical, entitled, and will do what they can to get what they want at the expense of you. Its surprising how many girlfriends find out their boyfriends are cheating on them using this tool. Either way, this tool can stop the guessing games going on in your head right now. His Ego Feeds on Compliments Coming Back at Him. When their act of revenge starts playing out, thats the stage you usually find it difficult to connect the dots as to their reasons behind their mean behaviors towards you. You are his wife; dont let him turn you into something you are not, no matter what stage you are in your life, its never too late to leave and find love with someone who truly cares about you. they're constantly asking him to use his apartment to have sex and constantly asking him for money and he gives freely. Here are eight warning signs that there's a not-so-nice guy lurking beneath the surface: 1. 4. Maybe its not just a feeling, if you can clearly see hes more complimentary of everyone else then its going to make you feel unvalued. "You're being ridiculous.". A man, by nature, loves power and likes to be in control, this trait has led some to become control addicts. These men bully and intimidate others to give them a grandiose sense of self-worth. He wasnt my type, but he was charming and seemed like a nice guy. Then I show him evidence that sexism and unconscious bias are REAL and women across the world experience the exact same things everyday. I can see that we did do this to each other as well, during the first 6 years. If your husband is a water torturer he might be exhibiting these behaviors: Abusers in this category frustrates their partner but pretend like they have not been mean in any way towards their partner on the ground that their actions dont possess an iota of aggression in them. Studying the vast and complicated world of relationships entices me, and I am constantly striving to learn more, so I can then help others with more knowledge and experience. Here are reasons why your husband compliments other people more than you and what you can do to change his behavior: This is a passive-aggressive way some guys will try and get your attention. Image: Giphy. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. He has been abused by women in the past, Your partner may have suffered many physical and psychological waves of abuse while growing, up and this may have affected how he sees the female folk. I think it stems from my mother somehow - mega OCD and perfectionist and very judgy. 37 reviews of El Taco Loco "Tried El Taco Loco on Sunday. She also has a professional PTSD counseling certification. Any criticism towards his family wounds him deeply. So, how do you know whether your husband is an abuser or not, despite showing all the signs required to tag him one? Most men feel that being harsh might get, Thank you for reading through this piece, I hope you enjoyed it and found it helpful. This can get in the way of true emotional intimacy and feel . The one sacred thing for my husband is his family. Good guys don't walk around telling you how good they are and just expect you to . Most vexatious men lack a certain amount of empathy for their wives. That's what therapists have told him and he seems to understand that I just need empathy, not solutions. I want to state it here to you that you are most likely in an abusive relationship. I don't know if they just don't have a Sunday liquor license . anyway. Anyway, she ended up suggesting that he move to the new city with me, and while wed only been dating a few months, I invited him to do exactly that. It rarely worked out in my favor. I am the one who needs help, not him. So I'll particularly pick on things that reflect on her driving or her confidence etc. 13) He's filled with insecurities. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Lets talk about it. This is one of the most common issues our female readers face. He needs to understand where is failing. Overreacting. What was the problem? My name is April and I hope you find what you're looking for on my site. Two possible definitions of the word respect are "a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.," and "a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way.". be an avid subscriber of such teachings and beliefs, and thats why he acts the way he does. If it comes from anyone else, their problems are completely valid and worth his time. My in laws (his family) don't like me so they are ignoring my birthday. We had a child and it was a toxic environment for him to be exposed to. Talk to him. could probably be the reason why your husband is always so vexatious towards you for one reason or the other. Find a subtle way of introducing humor into the situation to calm his nerves, very importantly, encourage him to get help from professionals. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! Sensitive, 4. Sure, our partner gets to see our best side. Then maybe the both of you can compromise. So you just stop doing stuff for yourself. Even if your husband was a jerk to everyone this is not acceptable behavior in a partner. I think everyone that notified me, I replied too. Or are they very strict about the maximum number of sessions? We wont send you spam. Long story short, I regretted it. From experience, when a man picks fights with you over petty issues, those are not the main issues bothering him. Communication Is Everything Speak with Your Husband About It! No solutions or plans needs to be made right now. The Water Torturer stays evenly calm in arguments and has a quiet derision (insulting or mocking) and meanness. Just like most of us can read and comment on other peoples marital problems here but struggle to communicate effectively in our own. We've since learned what each other's strengths and weaknesses are and accept them. Hes most likely to have criminal records, drunk driving, and drug dealing- Bancroft. Relationships where you have to tread lightlyeach day you wake up you are figuratively having to walk on eggshells because your partner or someone you know behaves or acts all too frequently . But why are they then able to be kind to other people? 1. Hes Not Feeling Good About Your Relationship, 6. If your husband is trying to be more popular, its not a bad thing, but you might want to have a talk with him about why he feels the need to attract attention to himself and make more friends. They vent their frustrations on their spouses by acting mean towards them. Dating A Deaf Person (7 Tips For Dating a Deaf Person), Bucket List for Couples (117 Bucket List Ideas for Couples), Values In A Relationship (41 Relationship Values Every Couple Should Have), Nitpicking In A Relationship (31 Tips To Stop Nitpicking), I Feel Disgusted When My Husband Touches Me (19 Possible Reasons), Saying Hurtful Things To Someone You Love (21 Hurtful Things You Should Never Say To Someone You Love), How To Become Emotionless (17 Ways To Become Emotionless), Are You on a Pity Date? You hear that right. It's a shitty thing to do, but I've recognised the flaw in my character (and my wife now knows about it) so we both work to address that. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). 8. He may make some bold promises that he will fail to keep. I want him to look at me and say: because of you I didn't give up.". Some religions and cultures do not think very highly of women; in fact, they believe women, should be relegated to the background and should not be seen or heard. Do you really want to devote your life to someone who literally can't be bothered to GAF about your bad day? Fear of being hurt. Two good, smart, nice people marry voluntarily, and deny it though they will, it's a coin toss as to whether they'll be married a decade later. My husband is not the most romantic person but he is very loving to myself and our kids. If he accepted he contributed to the problem, but added that he wouldnt have done what he did if not for the fact that his ex-partner encouraged it; this is another sign that hes most likely an abuser. Though he had been charming and sweet, I intended to move and leave him behind. Get up and forget about it. You don't feel understood. 1. Try to remain calm and assertive. Your email address will not be published. agenda, irrespective of whether it suits you or not. In the opinion of Bancroft, be particularly careful with a man who claims to have been the victim of physical violence by a previous female partner. Or it could even be you who hurt him. His charm was lost for me very quickly, but one thing kept bugging me: he was so kind to people who werent me so nice and charming and awesome. Perhaps if you tell your GP that you're in an abusive relationship and struggling with anxiety, they might be able to re-refer you or suggest other counselling services.

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